Death To birth
by myblackkitten
Summary: I had to write it down. Let everyone know what happened to me. So that no one would have to endure it like i did. Before Mercer house. Jack's story
1. Still my guitar gently weeps

Still my guitar gently weeps…

I closed my flickering eyes and took a deep breath, I could hear the heavy steps on the wooden stairs and the angry curses coming from his beer stained lips. Darkness surrounded me as I tried to keep my heart steady. My door crept open and I held my breath, his footsteps falling closer and closer to the closet door. I said a silent prayer, whispering to any deity that would help me out, save me from my eternal fear. "Jackson…where are you??? Daddy's not mad…. I just wanna have a little fun with my little boy" I could hear him opening my large Armoire. "We can play a game Jackson. You like games don't you? Don't you wanna play a game with daddy?" I could hear my comforter sweep against the carpet as he looked under my bed. "Dammit Jackson where are you?" I heard him whisper and I gulped. My foot slipped and hit the closet wall. The thud resounded through the air and I held my breath, waiting for him to come to the closet door. Silence engulfed the air as I watched him through the cracks in the door. He turned towards the closet door and a spark of realization hit him. 'No no no' I chanted in my mind as he started towards the door.

The door was yanked open and light flooded in on me. "There you are Jackson. Hiding seek was always your favorite game." He picked me up by my forearm and pulled me through the air. "We're going to a game Jackie, a very grown up game," He whispered, patting my messy blonde hair. "What, couldn't get any from the misses." I muttered. And he slapped me. "See what you do Jack. You make me hurt you. I don't want to hurt you." He whispered and rubbed his hands down my back. My body froze as my hands clasped rigidly, "No," I whimpered and he laughed as he went to over to my dresser. He pulled something off the top of it and approached me. "Come here," He said without a slurred and I shuddered as he threw me onto the bed. I bounced before becoming still. He cradled me and rubbed my forehead before sticking a syringe in my forearm. My eyes roamed the ceiling erratically before finally settling on a water stain.

I don't know how you were diverted

You were perverted too

I don't know how you were inverted

No one alerted you

I clutched the notebook to my chest as I rocked in the closet. Tears slowly ran down my bruised face, and I struggled to keep my crying under control. My whole body ached and my head felt as if it might explode. His hands left invisible trails of shame and I felt so unclean. I wanted the pain to end. But it wouldn't go away. Nor would the sticky liquids I had drenching my legs. Neither would the blood that stained my underwear. I was filthy. I was impure. I had been sodomized. By my own faster father.

I took a deep breath as I began writing down my story.


	2. Comfortably numb

Comfortably numb…

I stared at the warped wood and took a deep breath as I made my way into the dark basement. I could here my father beckoning me. I shuddered and swallowed hard before creeping silently into the hidden room. My foot hit the lush, carpeted ground and I sighed. Stairs were not my thing. I looked around the room, eyeing everything I could for any sign of danger. Smoke drifted from the pool table and I could hear Pink Floyd whispering in the background. "Hello my beautiful baby boy." He whispered and I shook my head. "I brought a friend. He wanted to meet you. I told him what a special boy you were."

My head whipped to the side as a fair-haired man approached me from the shadows. "No. No. No. No." I whispered and the man stalked towards me. "Hello Jackson," I backed towards the stairs and ran straight for them. "Oh no you don't." my father said and put me into a headlock. "You're going to pay for this…embarrassing me in public." He whispered into my ear lethally. He carried me to the full bed, which we had it for "guest", and dropped me on it. "So who goes first?" He whispered to the other man and I crept up closer to the headboard, trying to contemplate my escape. My dad pulled out the infamous syringe and the other man grabbed me, "if you wouldn't resist I wouldn't have to do you like this." I felt his fist contact with my face and I gasped. He stuck the needle into my arm and I let my eyes roll into the back of my head as Pink Floyd flooded my senses.

O.K  
Just a little pin prick.  
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!  
But you may feel a little sick

I awoke up to a tremendous crash. The small one windowed room lit up with a fierce strike of blue lightning. I jumped and tried to scramble up. I was tied to a support beam in the basement. I struggled to free myself and I looked over at the bed during a flash of lightning. There were massive patches of white on the bed sheets. I shuddered and a crack of lightning lit up the room again. I looked up and the digital clock. "12:18." it read. The 'happy juice' my father gave me left me disorientated. There were about three things I knew; I knew I was in pain, what my name was, and no matter how much I didn't want to admit, I still loved my father." I tried to find some sort of knowledge of my surroundings when I saw a bright light in the distance. White plumes of smoke rose towards the ceiling and a crack of lightning flooded the basement with light. My father was right in my face. He blew smoke into my nostrils and I tried to turn away. He took a hit of the cigarette, it lighting up, and rubbed into my forearm. I screamed out in pain and he said, "I told you that you were going to pay for this," he laughed and kicked my notebook towards me. "Have fun." He murmured as he crept up the stairs. The door opened, deluging the basement with a stark yellow light. I looked over to see a puddle of vomit as the door shut heavily. I let tears run down my eyes as I felt bile rush up my throat.

_June 15__th__ 1994_

_Daddy touched me again. And he brought a friend…_


End file.
